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-Wow! The news is so much better in France -Video of Christina Aguilera’s dirty photoshoot -She’s my cherry pie -The best music video ever

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I”m not going to pretend I know what”s wrong with Fall Out Boy”s Pete Wentz because I don”t. All I know is he”s obsessed with taking pictures of himself and his crotch. If you don”t want pictures of you and your penis all over the internet, don”t send them to a bunch of random people on your mailing list. He”s like a 14 year old girl on MySpace. But a guy. And in a hugely popular band. It”s confusing.

Here”s the email the pictures were attached to:

—–Original Message—– To: xxx@fueledbyramen.com, xxx@friendsorenemies.com Subject: NEW PIX! From: Petey Wentz Date: Mon, 22 May 2006 12:37:32

hey guys.. i took some more pics. let me know what you think.

DON”T LET THESE GET OUT TO ANYONE!

p.s. the new hush sound cd rules

–peteywentz

More pictures of Pete Wentz and his hairy crotch after the jump. LSFW due to an over abundance of pubic hair. He”s like a ferret he is. Thanks to Hayson for the tip. And for having a name I keep reading as Hanson.

Last week, I mentioned how bad Mariah Carey’s new hairdo looks, so there’s really no need for me to get into that now. It hasn’t changed. But guess what has changed? Mariah Carey’s breast implants. Those things are going to be down to her belly in a blink of an eye (careful don’t blink). I always thought getting fake boobs was a one shot deal. You get them put in and that’s it. Well I guess I was wrong. Like fine automobiles, they need tune-ups too.

BTW, if they’re not fake, I apologize. But they can still use a tune-up.

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There’s a nice theme going on in Cannes; “Breasts Everywhere!” You got Avril, Halle, Kirsten’s friend and now Elizabeth Hurley. For some reason, I have a sneaking suspicion that maybe I’m in the wrong part of the world. Anyway, these pictures are from ‘Liz Hurley’s Beach Collection’ and as you can see, she’s not wearing a bikini, so buyer beware.

Related Articles: Elizabeth Hurley & Ashley Judd Are Hot In Pink Heather Locklear Ruins A See-Through Moment Caprice, A Lingerie Designer?

A Christina Milian Picture Moment Past Picture Moments

I take back whatever nonsense I said before about Tara Reid transforming into a decent girl, because clearly she”s still going the route of the dirty slut. I”m all for short skirts that look like they”re a strong breeze away from falling apart, but only if you”ve got the body for it. And that body does not include having a negative ass and nipples so powerful they can poke through a shirt and jacket. They”re like Superman, but instead of fighting crime they fight the constrictive covering of clothes.

Brad Pitt sent an email to the Cannes FIlm Festival today saying he couldn”t attend due to the the “imminent arrival” of his new baby. Additionally, it”s being reported that he and Angelina Jolie are going to let Namibian Governor Samuel Nuuyoma name their new baby. He”s become a close personal friend and helped them find a safe haven in Africa.

According to American publication In Touch, Nuuyoma will stage a news conference on Friday to announce his part in the christening. The announcement has prompted many to believe Jolie has already given birth. A Namibian official tells In Touch, “It”s true. This is a great honour for Namibia and everyone is very excited.” The source explains that local custom will prompt Nuuyoma to visit Jolie when she goes into labour and officially name the baby.

I have no idea what native Namibian names sound like but I”m hoping they”re horribly unfitting for a white kid. Like Shaniqua. Or Afroman. Or maybe just a series of clicks and whistles. Because everything I”ve learned about Africa I”ve learned through sketch comedy shows.

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Britney Spears can juggle a baby in a trucker hat in one hand and a drink in the other without dropping either. Well, okay, she almost dropped the kid, but one thing she didn”t mind dropping recently was Kabbalah. She”s revealed on her official website that she was ditching the money-hungry religion for motherhood. “I no longer study Kaballah,â€? she recently wrote, “my baby is my religion.â€? What she meant to say is: she”s tired of wearing a stupid red string bracelet and of writing fat checks to a cult. She”s got K-Fed to support, after all…

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Paris Hilton and Celebs Party in Cannes (Hollywood Rag) Tara Reids Honorable Mentions (A Socialite’s Life)

More Of Britney With Her New Sexy Man (Pink is the new Blog) Michelle Rodriguez Is Once Again A Jail Babe (IDLYITW)

Tori Spelling Tries To Hard (Popsugar) For The Ladies: David Beckham Is Topless (Just Jared)

Maria Menunous Looks Hot!… Comparably (The Bastardly) Yummy! Kelly Ripa Smells Like Fish! (Best Week Ever)

Hollywood Tuna’s Back Catalogue A Vida Guerra Picture Moment Jessica Alba In FHM Jenny McCarthy Is Author Extraordinaire

Things are not looking good for “Lost” star Michelle Rodriguez who has been sentenced to 60 days in jail for violating her probation in Los Angeles. Though she recently spent five days in jail for in Hawaii for a DUI charge, that incident violated her California probation, resulting in extended jail time. In addition to the 60-day sentence, Michelle also was ordered to check herself into an alcohol rehab program and perform 30 days of community service, including participating in programs run by Mothers Against Drunk Driving. And to top it off, her two-year probation was extended for three more years to June 2009.

Axl Rose learned the hard way last Thursday night that Tommy Hilfiger has a real “appetite for destruction” when the fashion god went crazy and bitch-slapped the rocker in a bar. In what sounds like an unprovoked attack, the Guns N” Roses frontman was about to take the stage to do an accoustic set for Rosario Dawson“s birthday bash when he moved a drink belonging to Hilfiger”s girlfriend so that it wouldn”t get accidentally knocked over. Hilfiger went ballistic - cursing and slapping and karate chopping. “He wouldn”t stop smacking me!” Axl later said.

In case you”ve wondered how Paris Hilton makes her money, apparently she gets paid tons of cheddar (I”m gangster, yo) by idiots who want her to show up to their events. She was paid $200,000 just for appearing at a charity event in Cannes on Saturday, and was also reportedly paid $1 million to show up for a similar event in Vienna a few weeks ago.

“All I had to do was wave, like this,” she said, imitating Queen Elizabeth II”s stately palm swivel.

If that”s not the most disgusting thing you”ve ever read then you are a vile and disgusting human being who reads about things way more disgusting than a normal person should be reading about. I saw a man drink his own vomit after throwing up into his beer and just chuckled. But after reading about Paris getting paid $1 million to wave? This must be how Jews feel when they read about the Holocaust.

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